There was a little boy with a bad temper. His father gave him a bag of nails and told him that every time he lost his temper, he was to hammer a nail in the back fence. The first day the boy had driven 37 nails into the fence.
Slowly the number of nails dwindled down. He discovered it was easier to hold his temper than to drive those nails into the fence. Finally, the day came when the boy didn’t lose his temper at all. He told his father about it and the father suggested that the boy now pull out one nail for each day that he was able to hold his temper.
The days passed and the young boy was finally able to tell his father that all the nails were gone. The father took his son by the hand and led him to the fence. He said, “You have done well, my son, but look at the holes in the fence. The fence will never be the same. When you say things in anger, they leave a scar just like this one. You can put a knife in a man and draw it out. It won’t matter how many times you say ‘I’m sorry’, the wound is still there – Author unknown.
There’s nothing like a good story to help us understand that anger can have a huge impact on a marriage. And although it is a normal emotion, when anger is used to attack each other it can be very damaging.Although apologizing and forgiveness are essential within your relationship, words spoken in anger can leave a trail of hurt that takes time to repair.
TALK ABOUT where anger has been used negatively in your marriage and try and identify some common triggers that got you there.(Eg. stress, frustration, feelings of rejection…) Consider some new ways of communicating that would be more productive in your marriage.
Have a great week!
Rick & Fi