Do you sleep with your smartphone? Is it the last thing you look at before you go to bed and the first thing you check on in the morning? Does your partner have to compete with your attention over it? Is it the one you turn to to wind down and relax?
As a born & bred country girl, I was all too familiar with the beauty of small communities. Stopping to chat to the person down the street, waving at a familiar face as they drove by, popping in for a cuppa, visiting family etc. These were daily occurrences that contributed to that sense of closeness which was my ‘normal’.
As we approach that time of the year, when we say goodbye to gloomy weather and hello to sunshine, I am reminded of all of the different ‘seasons’ that we go through in life.
With divorces doubling over the last generation for those that have been married for 20 years and over, it seems like the ‘empty nesters’ are struggling to move through this very significant stage of life which is typified with great sadness, loneliness and uncertainty as the children leave home. It’s hard to be fully ready for the day your kids embark on their very own adventure that you have spent a lifetime preparing them for. It happens so fast!
I’m sure that’s a question we’ve all been asked!It really is one we need to ask ourselves more often, because if we were to liken our mind to a movie screen, we would see an estimated 30,000 thoughts flashing across the screen of our mind each day. Some may be positive and affirming, some negative and driven by hurt or bitterness, and some just plain destructive and irrational.
f you’re like most people, you probably enter into a conversation with the goal to get your point across, right? Or, whilst you appear to listen to the reply of your partner or friend, your mind could be in many different places in that moment as well.
A happy marriage is the union of two good forgivers.”
When couples come to counselling full of unmet needs, disappointment and hurts, they are often wondering if their relationship will survive. There are feelings of powerlessness and hopelessness as they talk about ongoing conflict over various issues. Unfortunately, according to Dr John Gottman, relationship expert, “couples wait an average of six years of being unhappy before getting help”. That’s a long time feeling hurt, angry and resentful!
It’s the ingredient that will help you appreciate your differences, support your relationship through difficult times, allow you to have better communication, make you more united as a team, and more willing to meet each other needs.
I still remember the moment when we realized we needed a new strategy in our marriage.
