Loving your wife doesn’t have to be complicated. So instead of Googling “how to love my wife better” and doing things such as giving a bouquet of flowers, you can instead focus on our one-million-dollar tip that is guaranteed to improve your relationship and make your wife take notice. It’s learning the skill of listening.
People spend between 70-80% of their day engaged in some form of communication, and only 55% of their time is devoted to listening. But are we really listening!
One article quoted that the No. 1 reason marriages fail is through the lack of listening. That means it’s a skill that we could all work on.
When you’re unable to listen, it’s hard to connect with your partner because there’s a breakdown in the communication, leading to frustration and often resentment. If you can focus on genuinely hearing your wife instead of just waiting for your turn to talk, then she’ll feel loved and appreciated by you. And that’s a million-dollar tip worth listening to!
In this article, we’ll give you some great tips on listening showing you how you can improve your skills to love your wife better.
Why Is Listening So Important?
If you’ve ever heard the quote, “God gave us 2 ears and 1 mouth for a reason”, then you get the message about the value of listening. It’s an important life skill that will help you in the business world, amongst friends and most importantly in loving your wife.
Listening is one of the most important skills you can have in your relationship because it’s essential for connecting with your partner.
Listening Builds Connections
In any relationship, it’s essential to feel connected to your partner. When you’re able to listen attentively it shows that you care about what they have to say. Additionally, listening allows you to understand your partner better, which can lead to a more fulfilling and intimate relationship.
Listening Is Important For Good Communication
If you want to have good communication with your partner, then listening is essential. If you’ve learnt how to tune your wife out then it’s time to make some changes. Listening and understanding what your partner is saying allows for a two-way conversation where both of you can share your thoughts and feelings. This can help prevent misunderstandings and build a better understanding of each other.
Makes Her Feel Understood
When your wife feels like she’s being heard and that you understand her, it makes her feel appreciated. When it comes to loving your wife, feeling like they can trust you and be heard by you is a massive part of that. It will deepen the connection in your relationship.
Shows That You Love Your Partner
By taking the time to listen to your partner, you’re showing them that you love and care about them. It can be challenging to find the time to really listen to what they have to say, but it’s crucial to a good relationship with your partner.
Active Vs. Reflective Listening
Listening is a combination of both reflective and active listening. When putting them together, you’re able to hold space for the other person to share their emotions and create a deeper connection with them. However, it will take patience and time to perfect these skills, as they’re not always easy to do.
Reflective listening is when you paraphrase or repeat back what the other person has said. This helps to ensure that both of you are on the same page and that you understand their point of view. It also gives you the opportunity to clarify anything you may have misunderstood.
An example of reflective listening would be, “So what you’re saying is that you feel like I don’t care about you.” or ” I heard you when you said that you feel like I’m not there for you. Is that correct?”
Active listening is when you’re fully engaged in the conversation and are doing your best to understand what the other person is saying. This involves making eye contact, asking questions, and showing interest in what your partner has to say. It also means avoiding any distractions and giving them your undivided attention.
An example of active listening would be, “I’m sorry, can you say that again? I want to make sure I understand.” or “That sounds like it’s really important to you, can you tell me more about it?”. Make sure to clarify if they’re looking for a response from you, as not every time you listen with your partner will they need an answer. Instead, they might be looking to just share a problem.
What Happens When You Don’t Feel Like Your Being Heard?
If you’re not feeling heard in your relationship, you’ll likely start to feel ignored and unimportant. This can lead to resentment and a feeling of not being valued. It’s important to communicate these feelings to your partner, as they might not be aware that they’re not listening correctly.
When you’re able to share how you’re feeling, it can help to improve the situation. Additionally, make sure to ask your partner how they feel when you’re not listening to them. This can help create an understanding of what might need to change on both sides.
How To Become A Better Listener
While it might take some practice, there are a few things you can do to become a better listener.
Stay Focused On The Conversation At Hand
It can be easy to get distracted when your partner is talking, but staying focused on what they’re saying is essential. This means avoiding any distractions, like checking your phone or email and giving them your undivided attention. Also, make sure to have the conversation in a location where you won’t be interrupted to ensure you can focus on what your partner is saying.
Don’t Bring Up Irrelevant Topics
When your partner is talking, it’s important to avoid bringing up any unrelated topics. This can be confusing and frustrating for them, as they’re not getting the chance to share everything that’s on their mind. It’s also essential to avoid giving them advice or telling them what you would do in the situation at hand. For example, if they’re telling you about their day at work, it might not be the best time to talk about your weekend plans.
Avoid Making Judgments
It’s essential to avoid making any judgments about what your partner is saying. This includes both positive and negative judgments, as they can make the other person feel like they’re not being heard. Instead, try to simply listen and understand their point of view without adding your personal opinion.
Show Interest In The Conversation
When you’re actively listening to your partner, show them that you’re interested in what they have to say. This can be done by making eye contact, asking questions, and letting them know you’re following along. When you’re not interested in a conversation, it becomes very apparent to the other person, which can make them feel like you don’t actually care what’s going on with them.
When you’re learning a new skill it will take patience. So be patient when your partner is talking, as they might not always have the same train of thought, or it might take longer to express how they’re feeling. If you’re able to, try to repeat back what you’ve heard them say so that they know you’re with them. This can also help ensure that there are no misunderstandings and that you can respond appropriately.
Use It As A Collaborative Experience
While you might think that listening is only beneficial for the partner who is able to talk, it’s actually an exercise that both parties can use. In order to make sure that you’re both getting the most out of it, try to see it as a collaborative experience. This means that you should be taking turns listening and sharing your thoughts and feelings. This helps you both to understand each other and what’s going on, as well as build trust and intimacy in your relationship.
Don’t Use The Time To Think While Your Partner Is Sharing
We’ve all done it! You start thinking about what you’re going to say while your partner is talking. This can make it seem like you’re not interested in what they have to say and that you’re not actually listening. Instead, try to focus on the conversation at hand and save your thoughts for later.
Conclusion: Improve Your Marriage With The Marriage Playbook
Listening is an essential aspect of any relationship, as it allows you to connect with your partner on a deeper level. By taking the time to listen to how they feel and what’s going on in their life, you’re able to build a stronger connection and love your wife deeper. It can also help to resolve any misunderstandings that might be present and make them feel like they’re valued and important to you.
If you’re looking for more tips on how to improve your relationship, we suggest checking out The Marriage Playbook, our daily manual that is designed to help you build a lasting and loving relationship. You will learn the skill of listening and communication as you make your way through this valuable book. Loaded with date night ideas and actionable steps to improve your relationship, The Marriage Playbook will help you build the relationship of your dreams.