Working as a therapist in my own practise involves dealing with many different issues. It’s understandable that people want to solve their problems as soon as possible. But often just looking at the ‘here and now’ is not enough, especially when deeper and unhealthy roots have taken hold.
My husband and I own a building company, and we are very aware that the foundations need to be stable and strong for us to build a solid and well-built house. In fact, if the foundations are not level or have cracks in it, it will affect almost every aspect of that house. If not now, later!
Just like that house, we need to make sure that our foundations are solid, and something that we can build upon.
Family of origin work is an important therapy that gives very good results. It is an intentional exploration of your history; including parental relationships, your environment, the existence of traumatic experiences and how you were shaped as a child and upwards.
This type of therapy is then used as a guide to challenge unhealthy belief systems, coping strategies and defence mechanisms in order to develop new and more healthier patterns.
The question is often asked: “How does my relationship have anything to do with my childhood or with my father”. This is a really great question and one that is misunderstood by many.
The lessons that we all learn from our earliest experiences, especially from the primary caregivers in your life, largely contribute to the way that your brain is wired; your vulnerabilities, your belief about yourself, others and the world around you. This is true about not only parental relationships, but other circumstances that have impacted you also. This means, that how you may be responding in your current relationship could well have a lot to do with how you learnt to respond as a child.
