No relationship is perfect. That’s a fact. At some point or another, every couple will face difficulties. The important thing is how you handle those problems. Do you work together to find a solution? Or do you let the situation fester, leading to resentment and bitterness?
When you’re committed to your relationship, it’s always worth putting in the effort to overcome any obstacles that come your way. Here is some advice on relationship problems and how you can stand strong through the tough times.
Communicate Openly And Honestly With Each Other
One of the most important things you can do when facing relationship problems is to communicate openly and honestly with each other. It’s easy to bottle up your feelings and hope that the problem will go away on its own. But that usually doesn’t happen. It often makes the situation worse. If you’re feeling frustrated, angry, or hurt, it’s important to tell your partner how you’re feeling gently. They can’t read your mind, so you need to be clear about what’s going on.
For example, let’s say you’re upset because your partner didn’t help with the dishes even though you asked them to. Instead of getting angry and saying nothing, try to communicate how you’re feeling calmly and assertively. You might say something like, “I was annoyed when you didn’t help with the dishes when we had guests. I felt like you didn’t care about my feelings. I need you to help out more when we have visitors over.”
Then, give your partner a chance to explain their side of the story. They may have had a valid reason for not helping out. Or, they may not have realized that you needed their help. Either way, it’s important to listen to each other and try to see things from the other person’s perspective.
Be Willing To Compromise
Another critical piece of advice is to remember that when you’re having relationship problems, you need to be willing to compromise. That means giving up some of what you want to find a solution that works for both of you.
For example, if you’re having trouble agreeing on where to travel to in the school holiday break, take the time to hear each other’s perspectives first. Often when you can understand each other, it’s much easier to find a compromise.
It’s also important to remember that it’s an act of kindness to give your partner what they want, even though you have different preferences. A great relationship has a healthy dose of selflessness that comes from both of you at times.
Focus on Yourself
When it comes to the best advice on relationship problems, one of the most important things to remember is that you need to focus on yourself. That doesn’t mean you should ignore your partner’s needs or put your own needs above theirs. But it does mean that you must take care of yourself first and foremost.
If you’re not happy with yourself, it’s going to be very difficult to be satisfied in a relationship. So, if you’re facing relationship problems, take some time for yourself. Do things that make you alive. Spend time with friends and family. Get involved in activities that interest you. Don’t put all of your focus on the relationship.
Once you’re in a better place, you’ll be able to approach the relationship with a fresh perspective and new energy. You may be surprised how much of a difference that makes.
Spend More Time Together
Another piece of advice on relationship problems is to spend more time together. That may seem counterintuitive, but it’s often when we’re apart from each other that we start to have problems. If you’re not spending enough time together, you may start to feel like you’re growing apart or living parallel lives that rarely connect.
Make an effort to spend more quality time together. That means putting away your phones, turning off the TV, and focusing on each other. Talk to each other, listen to each other, and enjoy each other’s company.
It may also be helpful to do things together that you both enjoy. If you can find activities that you can both enjoy, it will help you to feel more connected to each other.
Focus On Building Trust
When hard times hit, it’s often our belief in each other that gets tested. If you’re facing relationship problems, one of the best things you can do in the relationship is to build trust.
That means letting your actions do the talking. Words can be empty when they are not followed by action. It might seem easier to avoid each other but telling your partner that you are committed to the relationship and determined to work through the challenges will go a long way in a difficult time. But that also needs to be followed by action.
Address Any Destructive Behaviors
If you’re facing relationship problems, it’s important to address any toxic behaviours that may be present. That means taking a close look at the way you and your partner interact with each other. If there is any name-calling, put-downs, or other negative language being used, that needs to stop immediately. It’s hurtful and will not help you repair and rebuild your relationship.
It’s also important to watch for any signs of controlling or manipulative behaviour. If one person is always trying to control what the other does, it can make the other feel trapped. If someone is always trying to manipulate the other into doing what they want, the other can feel resentful.
If you are aware of destructive behaviours of your own, take responsibility for yourself and work to change those things. Otherwise, they will continue to cause problems in the relationship.
Focus On The Good Times Together
It’s easy to focus on the negative when facing relationship problems. But it’s important to remember all of the good times you’ve had together, too.
Think back to the happy moments in your relationship. Remember the laughter and the love. Then, focus on those times when everything felt right between you.
Holding onto those good memories can help you to get through the tough times. They’ll remind you of why you’re together and why you’re worth fighting for.
Spend Time Listening Instead Of Speaking
While it’s easy to want to fix all of the relationship problems, sometimes the best thing you can do is simply listen. Listen to your partner when they’re talking to you. Hear what they’re saying and understand their point of view.
It’s so important to listen to each other, even when things are tough. Doing so can help you to feel closer to each other and can invite greater honesty and transparency into the relationship.
For example, if your partner feels frustrated because they had a hard day with the kids, listen to what they’re saying. Try to understand how they’re feeling and what they need from you. You don’t have to come up with a solution if it isn’t asked for, just listening allows your partner to get that frustration off their chest and feel supported along the way.
Work On One Problem At A Time
When facing relationship problems, it’s easy to want to fix everything all at once. But that’s usually not the best approach. Instead, working on one problem at a time is generally better.
That way, you can focus all of your energy on that one issue and make some progress. Once you’ve solved that problem, you can move on to the next one.
For example, if you’re angry that your significant other doesn’t support you in the home, is on their phone too much, and ignores you when they hang out with his friends, it may be better to just focus on getting more support around the home first. Once you’ve got that resolved, then you can start working on the other problems. But don’t forget that not every problem will get solved, sometimes you need to just manage them better and live alongside them. And encouraging the changes that you see in each other is an important part of growth too.
Create Sustainable Change
If you’re going to make any lasting changes in your relationship, they need to be sustainable. That means that you can’t just try something for a week or two and then go back to the way things were before.
It can feel easy to try something and succeed and then slip back to what you used to do in the past. Instead, try and work together to create better habits that will support your relationship long-term.
For example, if you want to start communicating better, you need to be willing to do that regularly. Maybe this means having nightly chats before bed or checking in with each other at the end of the day. Whatever it is, make sure it’s something that is not too overwhelming, but something you can keep up with long-term.
When you’re trying to work on your relationship problems, it’s wise to get the right kind of support. Even if it’s not professional counselling, the right kind of friends may only need to know the basics to be able to be there for you both as support.
If something doesn’t feel right make sure you get the help of a qualified counsellor to guide you and give you an unbiased opinion on the way forward.
When it comes to advice on relationship problems, there is plenty out there. Remember that every relationship is different, so what works for one couple may not work for another. The most important thing is to find what works for you and your partner. Don’t be afraid to experiment and try new things. With a combined effort, you can overcome obstacles in your relationship, and even have a bit of fun along the way.
If you want to learn more and find resources for your relationship, please visit Unbreakable Love.